I love my job. I really do. It is fun, rewarding, growth-inspiring...etc.
One of the things I love most about my job is the people. I get to work with children and youth, their parents and all sorts of other people. They introduce me to their friends, their family, their pets and their toys. I'm forever meeting new people and getting into new situations.
Oh, and I like to talk too, so that helps a lot. I've had some wonderful, heartwarming things said to me over the years. I have also heard some drop dead funny ones, and even said a few myself!
For example, once, in Arkadelphia, a child asked me if I was the boss of Vacation Bible School. Before I could answer, another child piped up with "Miss Tracie is the boss of everything!" That's right. You heard it here first! I'm the boss of everything.
Another one that happened just recently.
Tracie: Hey guys! We're all alone out here! There's no other groups around!
Youth: Thanks Tracie. That's how every horror movie starts.
I'm going to tell one on myself here. When I was in Buckhannon, one of the adult Sunday School classes liked to use Power Point in their teaching. Every Sunday, I would set up the projector for the teacher, and I would wait while he turned on his computer and make sure everything worked before I left. This teacher also happened to be a long time professor at my college, and an ordained United Methodist Elder. He was also in his 70's at the time. I was in a hurry one particular Sunday morning, and I was rushing to set up his computer. I grabbed it, and wanted to go ahead and start it without waiting for him, so I grabbed his computer and asked, "Can I turn you on now John?"
His wife began to laugh. He just shook his head and said, "Oh, Tracie." I was laughed out of the classroom.
At least I can laugh at myself, right?
Not too long ago, I was on a youth retreat. We were having a discussion about noise, and I asked the kids, "What kind of noises in our lives distract us from listening for God's direction?" After a long pause, one of the kids raised their hand and said..."Raffles."
"Raffles?" I asked. "Want to elaborate on that?"
He said, "I'm so busy waiting for my number to be called, and so focused on listening for it that I forget to listen for God's voice."
Ahhhhhh...Logic.
Yes, kids say a lot of things. Some are thought-provoking, some are scary, and some are laugh-out-loud-roll-on-the-floor funny. But there is one word I have a lot of trouble with. It is a word that gets me in trouble time and time again.
Are you ready to hear my trouble word? Are you sure? It may shock you!
My word is...yes.
I bet you thought my word would be "No." Well, the word "No" doesn't usually get me into trouble. The word "Yes" often does.
We all have trouble with this word. I bet you say "Yes" to almost everything, don't you? I don't know about you, but most of the time I don't feel like I can say "No." Most of the time, I don't want to say "No". I genuinely want to help. I want to be there for people. I want to do whatever I can to help. That's actually how I ended up typing someone's memoirs.
But there are two people I don't say "Yes" to enough.
I don't say "Yes" to myself first of all. I know my priorities, and I often don't make myself one. I often don't WANT to make myself a priority. Other people are too important. I want to take care of everyone. I want to protect everyone. I often feel that meeting my own needs are not as important as others. Yes, this often gets me into trouble. It wears me down, sometimes makes me crazy. So I struggle with saying "Yes" to myself. I struggle with taking care of myself. Eating right, exercising. Things I know I need to do to take care of myself, because I don't say "Yes" to myself enough. I have to remember that I am worth something too. I am worth taking care of. I struggle with that concept every day. God made me something, and God doesn't make junk. But I feel there are people out there so much more important than myself, and their needs are more important than mine. And most of the time, I need to make others a priority. But sometimes, just sometimes, I have permission to make myself one too. Scary thought, isn't it? How many of us struggle with this too?
The other person I sometimes have trouble saying "Yes" to is God. Frankly, sometimes I have trouble keeping the lines of communication open with God, period. Saying "Yes" to Him is a whole different matter. Maybe I don't want to talk to that person. Maybe I don't want to give that lesson. Maybe, just maybe I don't want to love that person. The person who hurts me or my family. But God wants me to say "Yes."
God: Tracie, you know that person who hurt your feelings?
Tracie: Oh yes, I remember them well.
God: Love them.
He wants me to say "Yes." And I want to say "Yes" for Him. But sometimes I don't.
It's time to make the word "Yes" a priority. "Yes" to me sometimes, "Yes" to God always.
For all of you out there today, Be sick...be loved.
T
Monday, June 4, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Red Balloons
Let me get this right out in the open. I'm not a crier.
I bet you're shocked. Well, it's true! I am not a crier. I am not a weeper. Yes, I cry. Yes, sometimes I even weep. I have even sobbed on occasion. Some of you have been there for it, most of you will never see me even well up.
Well, that is unless you were in church this morning.
This morning was Pentacost Sunday, and in true United Methodist fashion, we celebrated with balloons. No, actually it was really cool. Balloons lined the staircases, and there were plenty for every child to take one home.
So this all began, of course, with a balloon.
A red balloon to be specific. Our Senior Pastor carried it up front with him this morning to make sure the kids saw the balloon, and to make sure that every child knew that they could take one home with them. So he held the balloon up front during the morning announcements, handing it to our Associate after he made his point. When our Associate got up to begin the call to worship, he handed it back to the Senior Pastor. Therein began the problem, so the Senior Pastor got my attention, and he asked me to come get the balloon and pass it on to someone else.
Now, since it was Memorial Day weekend, there weren't a whole lot of children in the congregation, but as I scanned the room, my eyes fell on one little girl. As I began to walk toward her, her eyes lit up in excitement and she reached for the balloon, so excited to be chosen. So her parents tied the balloon to her wrist.
Great so far? I'm not to the welling up yet. Just wait...it's coming!
I was giving the children's sermon this morning, having switched with someone else. I wasn't even on the schedule today, but I am so glad the other person wasn't able to do it.
When the children came up, here came the child with the red balloon. Keep in mind that she is in preschool, and isn't more than four years old.
Our kids kneel at the rail for children's sermon, and today we of course talked about the Holy Spirit who came like a mighty rushing wind. We talked about how we can't see the wind, but we can see what the wind does to those things around us. How we can't see God with our eyes, but we can see the good God does all around us. Of course, I had to turn on a fan with streamers attached to it to illustrate my point, because that's just what I do! A great time was had by all.
I ended with a prayer, and when I said "Let us Pray", the little girl with the red balloon scrunched her eyes up so tightly and folded her hands and was praying so, so hard. After the "Amen", most of the children returned right to their seats. Except the girl with the red balloon. I put the microphone down and I turned to see her asking me to come closer. I bent down and said, "What's up sweetie?"
And do you know what that sweetie said? In her four year and four hundred year old wisdom, she leaned in and whispered to me...
"God does everything good in our lives."
See, tears. Even now, 10 hours later, I am still welling up. What wisdom! What observance! "God does everything good in our lives."
Think about all those good things in your life. Family? God. Friends? God. Church? God. Pets? God.
God does everything good in our lives. Shame on me that it took a four year old to remind me.
Be sick...be loved.
T
I bet you're shocked. Well, it's true! I am not a crier. I am not a weeper. Yes, I cry. Yes, sometimes I even weep. I have even sobbed on occasion. Some of you have been there for it, most of you will never see me even well up.
Well, that is unless you were in church this morning.
This morning was Pentacost Sunday, and in true United Methodist fashion, we celebrated with balloons. No, actually it was really cool. Balloons lined the staircases, and there were plenty for every child to take one home.
So this all began, of course, with a balloon.
A red balloon to be specific. Our Senior Pastor carried it up front with him this morning to make sure the kids saw the balloon, and to make sure that every child knew that they could take one home with them. So he held the balloon up front during the morning announcements, handing it to our Associate after he made his point. When our Associate got up to begin the call to worship, he handed it back to the Senior Pastor. Therein began the problem, so the Senior Pastor got my attention, and he asked me to come get the balloon and pass it on to someone else.
Now, since it was Memorial Day weekend, there weren't a whole lot of children in the congregation, but as I scanned the room, my eyes fell on one little girl. As I began to walk toward her, her eyes lit up in excitement and she reached for the balloon, so excited to be chosen. So her parents tied the balloon to her wrist.
Great so far? I'm not to the welling up yet. Just wait...it's coming!
I was giving the children's sermon this morning, having switched with someone else. I wasn't even on the schedule today, but I am so glad the other person wasn't able to do it.
When the children came up, here came the child with the red balloon. Keep in mind that she is in preschool, and isn't more than four years old.
Our kids kneel at the rail for children's sermon, and today we of course talked about the Holy Spirit who came like a mighty rushing wind. We talked about how we can't see the wind, but we can see what the wind does to those things around us. How we can't see God with our eyes, but we can see the good God does all around us. Of course, I had to turn on a fan with streamers attached to it to illustrate my point, because that's just what I do! A great time was had by all.
I ended with a prayer, and when I said "Let us Pray", the little girl with the red balloon scrunched her eyes up so tightly and folded her hands and was praying so, so hard. After the "Amen", most of the children returned right to their seats. Except the girl with the red balloon. I put the microphone down and I turned to see her asking me to come closer. I bent down and said, "What's up sweetie?"
And do you know what that sweetie said? In her four year and four hundred year old wisdom, she leaned in and whispered to me...
"God does everything good in our lives."
See, tears. Even now, 10 hours later, I am still welling up. What wisdom! What observance! "God does everything good in our lives."
Think about all those good things in your life. Family? God. Friends? God. Church? God. Pets? God.
God does everything good in our lives. Shame on me that it took a four year old to remind me.
Be sick...be loved.
T
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Clumsy Thumbsy
(One thing to know before you read this is that I wrote this
on Saturday while I was at a youth retreat.
I was running on 3 hours sleep and so it may not make a whole lot of
sense. But reading back through it now
before I posted on here, I'm impressed at how much sense it actually makes!)
Sometimes I end up with some major texting fails. I know I'm not alone in this regard because I
have texted back and forth with a lot of people, and we have all done it. Autocorrect is a gift...and a curse. More than once I have told a kid that I would
be picking them up in a black Sub...instead of a black SUV. There are moments that make you laugh, and
sometimes moments that make you want to send what you have written into the
Ellen show.
I've gone through several of those in the last couple of
days. I will tell this one on myself,
because it was my clumsy thumbsy that made it happen.
A friend of mine texted me and wondered if I wanted to come
over for dinner on Thursday night. I was
teasing her, pretending I was saying that I wasn't sure I wanted to spend time
with her or her family...which of course I very much did. Finally I asked her, "Would you like me to come over for dinner?
" She said sure, so I
said..."I'd love tit."
Now, typically this is a "G" rated blog, but let
me just say, I lost it. And I know I
wasn't the only one who did. My friend
and I were both laughing so hard we were crying, which is the absolute best
kind of laughter.
So that's my Clumsy Thumbsy...or at least my latest
one. But I have other texting fails.
I moved recently, and when you move, you tend to go through
things that you packed as you attempt to unpack. For me, some of my stuff had not been
unpacked since I packed it when I left Arkansas almost two years ago (still
can't believe it has been that long). Even
some of that has been packed even longer.
And just a couple of weeks ago, I used one of my boxes to illustrate a
point in a children's sermon. So the
other day, it was in my office and I went to get something out of it when I
really started looking at it. And I
found something I have not thought about in a very long time. I found my poetry book from when I was 13
years old.
A lot of you didn't know me back then. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a
writer. I would write poetry a lot. Now...it was bad poetry. Not bad as in I couldn't share it with my
grandmother, but bad as in pathetic. And
with that journal, I found another one that my friend had bought me in college. I texted her to show her what I had found,
and as I was reading through the pages of the journal (there weren't very many
written on because I'm really bad at journaling), started thinking how pathetic
I was in college. So I tore those pages
out. I mentioned to my friend that I was
pathetic in college, and at first she texted back that we all have our pathetic
moments. But then she got to thinking.
She wrote to me that pathetic wasn't really a good
word. We were who we were back then, and
we learn from who we were. We would not
be the people we are today, if we hadn't been the people we were back
then. Does that make sense?
If a kid came to me today and told me their problems, and
they happened to be the same problems that I had back in college, would I call
them pathetic? Or would I uphold them in
love and grace, embrace them in their brokenness?
Looking back, I still have a lot of the same issues that I
did back then. Would I call myself
pathetic now? Sometimes I want to. Sometimes it's hard not to let the negative
thoughts creep back in. The feeling of
insecurity. The fear that I have
disappointed or hurt my friends in some way.
The wanting so hard to please everyone and be all things to all
people.
Jesus doesn't think I'm pathetic. He thinks I'm human. He loves me in ways that I can't
imagine. He loves you in ways you can't
imagine. And God created us to be. The creator of the world knows our name,
created us in his image. God don't make
junk. God don't make pathetic. Clumsy Thumbsy on me for calling myself
pathetic. God don't make pathetic.
For everyone out there today...Be sick...be loved.
T
PS. I realized today
that I have over 1300 views of this blog.
I know 1000 of them came from me, but for the 300 times the rest of you
have viewed this blog, I want to say I appreciate it. Please feel free to share it with your
friends if it speaks to you in any way!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Be Sick...Be loved
I woke up yesterday feeling really good.
I was alive...always a good thing. I had a good night's sleep and when I got on the scale in the morning, I was down another 1.2 pounds, which means I had made it past -60 pounds! I was at -60.4. I don't care what anyone says...that .4 is very important! Even better, I knew I would be heading to not one, but two doctor's appointments in Charleston very shortly, and they are both doctors who have to look at my weight.
Don't you hate weighing in at the doctor's office? I mean...when you're weighing in the comfort of your own home, it doesn't matter what you wear. I will admit, I weigh in with nothing on. I mean...that watch of mine adds ounces...one point of that .4 pounds might have been because I took my watch off before I weighed in, right?
Well, then you go to the doctor's office and what do they make you do? First thing...weigh in. And you have to weigh in as is...I mean...they don't even have you take your shoes off! Don't they know how much shoes weigh?! My mother told me one time that when the doctor weighs you in, they only account a half a pound for your clothing. A half of a pound? My watch weighs more than a half of a pound! So how happy was I that my first doctor's appointment just let me tell them what I weighed in at this morning...but they rounded up to the nearest full pound which means I lost my .4...small price to pay. I wasn't so lucky at the second doctor. It was after lunch and they made me stand up on the scale to weigh in...they wouldn't just let me tell them. So of course, I was heavier because I had just eaten lunch...and I was fully clothed!
Well, enough about that. Bottom line is that my doctor's appointments went fine. My numbers for my kidneys were pretty good...they are functioning close to half, which is an improvement. My thyroid levels were low which means my thyroid was slightly overactive and she needed to cut my medication back a dose...again. I'm ok with that! The more weight I lose, the less thyroid medication I need. The protein level in my urine is getting much better. For those of you who don't know about that, they do a spot urine test that tells the level of protein. Lots of protein = bad. The normal level for this is supposed to be between 0 and 17. Last April (2011), mine was 790. Waaayyyyyy bad. In November, when I went back to the kidney doctor, it was 118. Wayyyyyyy better, but still high. Yesterday it was 42. Lots better...still high...but lots better. Amazing what happens when you take care of yourself!
Now comes the sick part. In my profession, I get confessed to a lot. Children, youth, adults...strangers...doesn't matter. In fact, I get confessed to in the line at the grocery store...which is slightly awkward. I think I have a sign on my forehead that says "attention all strangers, tell me your life story." Which is fine. Usually I don't mind. But this time I know the person who confessed to me. And it wasn't the confession that threw me off. I learned a long time ago when you tell someone that they can tell you anything to be prepared for...well....anything. I've heard some doozies over the years. No...what got me about this confession was the way that it started.
It started with, "Tracie, please don't hate me for this."
Hate you? I would never hate you! I was slapped in the face one time by an incident at church, and I told myself right then I would never let a youth feel the way I felt at that moment. Alone, lost, dropped. I promised myself I would never let a kid feel that way. I may have failed at that sometimes over the years, but I wasn't going to this time.
That makes me think of the gospel. There is a great blogger named Jonathan Acuff. He writes a blog called Stuffchristianslike.net. It's an amazing blog and very insightful. Mostly satire, but there are posts that he likes to call "Serious Wednesdays". In one of those "Serious Wednesdays" posts, he sums up the gospel in four words. Words that I have adopted lately and believe with all of my heart that he is correct in. Those words are...Be sick...be loved. Jesus didn't come for the well, for the whole. He came for the sick. He came for the broken. We can be sick. In that moment, the moment of our coming to Him in our sickness, in our brokenness, we are loved. We don't have to be perfect to come to Him. In fact, there's no way we can be perfect. We are sick. We are broken. Yet the amazing thing about it, we are loved.
That is what I told this person. I don't care about your brokenness. I don't care what you've done. You can be sick around me. We are all sick. But you are loved.
I have learned some amazing lessons this week. The wonders of God and His timing never cease to amaze me. God knows what we need right when we need it, and for that, I will always be grateful. I didn't know I was looking for something, but God showed me what I needed. Our God is an Awesome God....indeed.
So for everyone out there today...
Be Sick...Be Loved.
T
I was alive...always a good thing. I had a good night's sleep and when I got on the scale in the morning, I was down another 1.2 pounds, which means I had made it past -60 pounds! I was at -60.4. I don't care what anyone says...that .4 is very important! Even better, I knew I would be heading to not one, but two doctor's appointments in Charleston very shortly, and they are both doctors who have to look at my weight.
Don't you hate weighing in at the doctor's office? I mean...when you're weighing in the comfort of your own home, it doesn't matter what you wear. I will admit, I weigh in with nothing on. I mean...that watch of mine adds ounces...one point of that .4 pounds might have been because I took my watch off before I weighed in, right?
Well, then you go to the doctor's office and what do they make you do? First thing...weigh in. And you have to weigh in as is...I mean...they don't even have you take your shoes off! Don't they know how much shoes weigh?! My mother told me one time that when the doctor weighs you in, they only account a half a pound for your clothing. A half of a pound? My watch weighs more than a half of a pound! So how happy was I that my first doctor's appointment just let me tell them what I weighed in at this morning...but they rounded up to the nearest full pound which means I lost my .4...small price to pay. I wasn't so lucky at the second doctor. It was after lunch and they made me stand up on the scale to weigh in...they wouldn't just let me tell them. So of course, I was heavier because I had just eaten lunch...and I was fully clothed!
Well, enough about that. Bottom line is that my doctor's appointments went fine. My numbers for my kidneys were pretty good...they are functioning close to half, which is an improvement. My thyroid levels were low which means my thyroid was slightly overactive and she needed to cut my medication back a dose...again. I'm ok with that! The more weight I lose, the less thyroid medication I need. The protein level in my urine is getting much better. For those of you who don't know about that, they do a spot urine test that tells the level of protein. Lots of protein = bad. The normal level for this is supposed to be between 0 and 17. Last April (2011), mine was 790. Waaayyyyyy bad. In November, when I went back to the kidney doctor, it was 118. Wayyyyyyy better, but still high. Yesterday it was 42. Lots better...still high...but lots better. Amazing what happens when you take care of yourself!
Now comes the sick part. In my profession, I get confessed to a lot. Children, youth, adults...strangers...doesn't matter. In fact, I get confessed to in the line at the grocery store...which is slightly awkward. I think I have a sign on my forehead that says "attention all strangers, tell me your life story." Which is fine. Usually I don't mind. But this time I know the person who confessed to me. And it wasn't the confession that threw me off. I learned a long time ago when you tell someone that they can tell you anything to be prepared for...well....anything. I've heard some doozies over the years. No...what got me about this confession was the way that it started.
It started with, "Tracie, please don't hate me for this."
Hate you? I would never hate you! I was slapped in the face one time by an incident at church, and I told myself right then I would never let a youth feel the way I felt at that moment. Alone, lost, dropped. I promised myself I would never let a kid feel that way. I may have failed at that sometimes over the years, but I wasn't going to this time.
That makes me think of the gospel. There is a great blogger named Jonathan Acuff. He writes a blog called Stuffchristianslike.net. It's an amazing blog and very insightful. Mostly satire, but there are posts that he likes to call "Serious Wednesdays". In one of those "Serious Wednesdays" posts, he sums up the gospel in four words. Words that I have adopted lately and believe with all of my heart that he is correct in. Those words are...Be sick...be loved. Jesus didn't come for the well, for the whole. He came for the sick. He came for the broken. We can be sick. In that moment, the moment of our coming to Him in our sickness, in our brokenness, we are loved. We don't have to be perfect to come to Him. In fact, there's no way we can be perfect. We are sick. We are broken. Yet the amazing thing about it, we are loved.
That is what I told this person. I don't care about your brokenness. I don't care what you've done. You can be sick around me. We are all sick. But you are loved.
I have learned some amazing lessons this week. The wonders of God and His timing never cease to amaze me. God knows what we need right when we need it, and for that, I will always be grateful. I didn't know I was looking for something, but God showed me what I needed. Our God is an Awesome God....indeed.
So for everyone out there today...
Be Sick...Be Loved.
T
Monday, April 16, 2012
Grandpa Knows Best
I love my grandfather very much, but as an 88 year old man with a brain bleed, he doesn't have much of a censor any more. Sometimes, he just says things out loud that most people would keep to themselves. I know this is part of his charm, and everyone says "he is so cute", but sometimes you just want to smack your forehead in frustration or in humiliation.
He has loved that fact that I am losing weight and getting healthy. It makes him very proud and happy, and even when he was in the hospital right after he fell, he could be screaming in pain in one breath and in the next ask me how much weight I have lost. God bless the old man...
My mother has been a large part of my success because she has been on this journey with me. I think we are both struggling with the fact that I now don't live with her, and therefore we have lost our "eating partners." It's easier to eat correctly when you have someone watching exactly what you are eating, and you are eating the same things. But anyways, my mother has lost a good deal of weight as well, and once, when my grandfather asked her how much she had lost, she told him and do you know what his reply was?
"You can keep on going."
So...like I said, the censor doesn't always work in his head.
Even though I live in Huntington now, I travel up to Winfield on the weekends to stay with him. We were sitting in his living room on Easter Sunday night, and he looked at me and said, "Tracie, are you still losing weight or have you given up?"
Woah...wait a second there G-Pooh (We call him Grandpooh if you didn't know that). First of all, we were watching a news story on cattle. Second of all, we hadn't mentioned weight loss or anything all day!
Now, a week later I am thinking about that. When I first started my journey, I talked about nothing else. I was probably a little annoying to my fellow workers and my fellow Americans and my fellow family members (who are all American as well...at least as far as I know). But that was all I talked about. My weight loss journey. How much I had lost, how much I had exercised and how that was going. But I haven't done that in a while. I hadn't been talking about it. I had also not been eating great around him. He always has snack food at his house, and it's so hard to keep out of that. Also, when I'm taking care of him, there is not a lot of cooking so there is a lot of fast food eating. And I haven't been talking about it. I haven't been steadfast in my diet or in my exercise. And how do I feel? Not as good as I did in October. So have I given up?
NO.
I know things throw us off. Grandpa's falling really threw me off of my eating correctly. I haven't gotten back on the full-steam-ahead track. And moving threw me off of my exercise. And like my sister-in-law says..it's a slippery slope. Once you get off track, it is hard to get back on. I haven't gained weight, but I haven't lost either. So what to change?
Everything. I need to change everything. I printed out my diet and hung it up on my fridge this morning. I am making myself a store list so I can go and buy exactly what I need, how much of it I need and am writing down my meals this week and what I am going to be eating each and every day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. And no more sleeping in through my exercise. Get my lazy butt out of bed and do it!
On the flip side of grandpa's insightful statement, on Saturday I went to my mother's hospital to help her and her boss tear down from their program. I got out of my car and walked across the street to the hospital, and then I heard a voice behind me saying, "Tracie?" When I turned around, my mother's boss was walking toward me and he said, "you know...I thought that might be you, but to be honest, I was expecting someone bigger. You look wonderful!" Now if that don't make you feel good, I don't know what does!
So thank you grandpa for your wisdom...and Richard for your compliment. I have received a lot of compliments from you all for my Facebook profile photo, and I very much appreciate them! I have worked hard to get to this point and I need a swift kick in the butt every morning to continue to work harder to get to the next level! As Nike has taught us...JUST DO IT!
T
He has loved that fact that I am losing weight and getting healthy. It makes him very proud and happy, and even when he was in the hospital right after he fell, he could be screaming in pain in one breath and in the next ask me how much weight I have lost. God bless the old man...
My mother has been a large part of my success because she has been on this journey with me. I think we are both struggling with the fact that I now don't live with her, and therefore we have lost our "eating partners." It's easier to eat correctly when you have someone watching exactly what you are eating, and you are eating the same things. But anyways, my mother has lost a good deal of weight as well, and once, when my grandfather asked her how much she had lost, she told him and do you know what his reply was?
"You can keep on going."
So...like I said, the censor doesn't always work in his head.
Even though I live in Huntington now, I travel up to Winfield on the weekends to stay with him. We were sitting in his living room on Easter Sunday night, and he looked at me and said, "Tracie, are you still losing weight or have you given up?"
Woah...wait a second there G-Pooh (We call him Grandpooh if you didn't know that). First of all, we were watching a news story on cattle. Second of all, we hadn't mentioned weight loss or anything all day!
Now, a week later I am thinking about that. When I first started my journey, I talked about nothing else. I was probably a little annoying to my fellow workers and my fellow Americans and my fellow family members (who are all American as well...at least as far as I know). But that was all I talked about. My weight loss journey. How much I had lost, how much I had exercised and how that was going. But I haven't done that in a while. I hadn't been talking about it. I had also not been eating great around him. He always has snack food at his house, and it's so hard to keep out of that. Also, when I'm taking care of him, there is not a lot of cooking so there is a lot of fast food eating. And I haven't been talking about it. I haven't been steadfast in my diet or in my exercise. And how do I feel? Not as good as I did in October. So have I given up?
NO.
I know things throw us off. Grandpa's falling really threw me off of my eating correctly. I haven't gotten back on the full-steam-ahead track. And moving threw me off of my exercise. And like my sister-in-law says..it's a slippery slope. Once you get off track, it is hard to get back on. I haven't gained weight, but I haven't lost either. So what to change?
Everything. I need to change everything. I printed out my diet and hung it up on my fridge this morning. I am making myself a store list so I can go and buy exactly what I need, how much of it I need and am writing down my meals this week and what I am going to be eating each and every day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. And no more sleeping in through my exercise. Get my lazy butt out of bed and do it!
On the flip side of grandpa's insightful statement, on Saturday I went to my mother's hospital to help her and her boss tear down from their program. I got out of my car and walked across the street to the hospital, and then I heard a voice behind me saying, "Tracie?" When I turned around, my mother's boss was walking toward me and he said, "you know...I thought that might be you, but to be honest, I was expecting someone bigger. You look wonderful!" Now if that don't make you feel good, I don't know what does!
So thank you grandpa for your wisdom...and Richard for your compliment. I have received a lot of compliments from you all for my Facebook profile photo, and I very much appreciate them! I have worked hard to get to this point and I need a swift kick in the butt every morning to continue to work harder to get to the next level! As Nike has taught us...JUST DO IT!
T
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Starting over...again...and again...and again...
So, yes, I know that it has been over a month since my last blog post. So much has happened in that month, but it shouldn't have taken me that long to update. But it did. Why? Because I'm lazy.
It's not that I'm overly lazy. I do a lot of stuff, but I just wasn't feeling the blog writing. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. I had time to write, but just didn't feel up to it.
It's been a roller coaster of a month. In this month I have gained weight, lost weight, moved to a new apartment, seen a 9 month old child buried, got the information that our pastor would be leaving and heard who the new pastor would be. Crazy! Why does everything have to happen all at once? Can't God just give us one big thing a month instead of everything altogether? We need to start a petition...
I don't think I have updated on here since I began my Power 90 journey. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's not P90X. (Bet you never saw that coming!) It's the beginners version of P90X, which means it is an intense full body workout program. You lift weights three days a week, and you do cardio three days a week. Let me tell you...for this fat chick who is waaaayyyyyyy out of shape, it is intense! But the funny thing is, I love it. It really does give me more energy, helps improve my mood and is toning up my body.
Several weeks ago, I went to Cincinnati to visit my brother and his family. He has 18 month old twins and they are full of energy. The last time I had seen my brother was the middle of January, and he was amazed at the amount of energy I have now. Several people I know have now ordered the program, and from what I can tell, they are enjoying it as much as I am. Of course, there are parts that I hate...like Power Yoga. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing...not so much. And I don't like runners luges either. I don't know if I'm not coordinated enough, but me doing runners lunges is like a hippo doing the cha-cha. Not pretty. I feel sorry for the floor beneath my feet sometimes!
But the difference I have noticed has been worth it. I have a neck now! You can actually see the muscles in my neck! And I have muscles! My mother tells me that when I'm exercising, the backs of my legs are really getting toned. So I'm halfway through..
Actually, last week I was over halfway through. But stress...good old stress. The age old excuse. I was stressed out with the move and everything, and I did not pay attention to what I ate. Didn't even try. Living on my own again seemed to be an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. No one was watching! And I only exercised two days last week. What was up with that???
We all go through bumps in the road. I had my bump, and I knew I needed to do something about it. So Sunday night I decided I needed a kick in the pants. I decided to do a fast...not a full fast because I don't disillusion myself to thinking I can handle that, but a fruit and fruit/veggie juice fast. And this fast is to last for 48 hours. I bought bananas, V8 and orange juice. Yesterday wasn't too bad. When I was hungry, I would eat fruit or drink juice, and did really well. Felt energized (sugar rush!) and felt "cleaned out". Today, I even woke up not hungry. For lunch today I had a salad that was all veggies and fruit, and only a little bit of fat free dressing. I actually feel really good. I did it partly to jump start my diet, partly to remind myself that I do have will power.
That's the thing I have the hardest time with...willpower. It's almost like I can only focus on one thing at a time. If my exercising is doing really well, my eating is not. If my eating is doing really well, then my exercise is not. I need to get in sync! (Not NSync because they're Bye, bye, bye...oh yeah...I went there.)
So all you fellows out there who struggle with the same things I do, let's get in sync! I see so many of you share your triumphs and I am so proud of you. I hope that we can share our struggles as well as our triumphs, because they're real too.
Oh...and I'm back on the exercise, and I even upped the intensity to level 3/4. I kept up pretty well these last two days, so let's keep going more and more! Bring it!
Grace and Peace,
T
It's not that I'm overly lazy. I do a lot of stuff, but I just wasn't feeling the blog writing. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. I had time to write, but just didn't feel up to it.
It's been a roller coaster of a month. In this month I have gained weight, lost weight, moved to a new apartment, seen a 9 month old child buried, got the information that our pastor would be leaving and heard who the new pastor would be. Crazy! Why does everything have to happen all at once? Can't God just give us one big thing a month instead of everything altogether? We need to start a petition...
I don't think I have updated on here since I began my Power 90 journey. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's not P90X. (Bet you never saw that coming!) It's the beginners version of P90X, which means it is an intense full body workout program. You lift weights three days a week, and you do cardio three days a week. Let me tell you...for this fat chick who is waaaayyyyyyy out of shape, it is intense! But the funny thing is, I love it. It really does give me more energy, helps improve my mood and is toning up my body.
Several weeks ago, I went to Cincinnati to visit my brother and his family. He has 18 month old twins and they are full of energy. The last time I had seen my brother was the middle of January, and he was amazed at the amount of energy I have now. Several people I know have now ordered the program, and from what I can tell, they are enjoying it as much as I am. Of course, there are parts that I hate...like Power Yoga. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing...not so much. And I don't like runners luges either. I don't know if I'm not coordinated enough, but me doing runners lunges is like a hippo doing the cha-cha. Not pretty. I feel sorry for the floor beneath my feet sometimes!
But the difference I have noticed has been worth it. I have a neck now! You can actually see the muscles in my neck! And I have muscles! My mother tells me that when I'm exercising, the backs of my legs are really getting toned. So I'm halfway through..
Actually, last week I was over halfway through. But stress...good old stress. The age old excuse. I was stressed out with the move and everything, and I did not pay attention to what I ate. Didn't even try. Living on my own again seemed to be an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. No one was watching! And I only exercised two days last week. What was up with that???
We all go through bumps in the road. I had my bump, and I knew I needed to do something about it. So Sunday night I decided I needed a kick in the pants. I decided to do a fast...not a full fast because I don't disillusion myself to thinking I can handle that, but a fruit and fruit/veggie juice fast. And this fast is to last for 48 hours. I bought bananas, V8 and orange juice. Yesterday wasn't too bad. When I was hungry, I would eat fruit or drink juice, and did really well. Felt energized (sugar rush!) and felt "cleaned out". Today, I even woke up not hungry. For lunch today I had a salad that was all veggies and fruit, and only a little bit of fat free dressing. I actually feel really good. I did it partly to jump start my diet, partly to remind myself that I do have will power.
That's the thing I have the hardest time with...willpower. It's almost like I can only focus on one thing at a time. If my exercising is doing really well, my eating is not. If my eating is doing really well, then my exercise is not. I need to get in sync! (Not NSync because they're Bye, bye, bye...oh yeah...I went there.)
So all you fellows out there who struggle with the same things I do, let's get in sync! I see so many of you share your triumphs and I am so proud of you. I hope that we can share our struggles as well as our triumphs, because they're real too.
Oh...and I'm back on the exercise, and I even upped the intensity to level 3/4. I kept up pretty well these last two days, so let's keep going more and more! Bring it!
Grace and Peace,
T
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Photos!
So here we go. Are you ready for this? I didn't think so. I wasn't ready for this.
One year ago,on Super Bowl Sunday I took a picture in my Steelers get-up. I always hated that picture. I mean, really, truly hated that picture. I felt like I was the Stay-puff marshmallow man (anyone get the Ghostbuster's reference?). Or the Phillsbury dough-boy. If you poked my stomach, I would let out a giggle or something.
Either way, I hated that picture. Oh yeah, here it is right now...
Don't I look terrible? I look like I feel awful, and frankly, looking back on it I did feel awful. I felt so tired all the time and slow. Yes, I am who I am and I have learned to be comfortable with who I am now, but I was not comfortable here. Not at all.
Don't scroll down just yet! I have some more I want to say!
After my meeting with my doctor in April, it still took me a couple of weeks to really get to it. Once I did though, things began to happen. And they can happen for you too! In October, I went back to the kidney doctor. I had lost about 50 pounds by then. He told me that he had never seen a patient do a turn around like I did. That he had never had anyone who took what he said to heart, and improved their situation so much. My blood work was so much better. He wants to see me again in May, but he told me that if I keep up this pace, that he would only have to see me once every couple of years. Isn't that amazing???
So anyways, almost 60 pounds later, and this is me today.
Look at it! I have a neck! And a chin! And a long way to go.
I'm not stopping...but this photo is inspiration. It helps me see where I came from, and motivates me to keep going. Next year at the Super Bowl I will do a three photo blog!
I wish you all the best of luck on your journey, wherever that may lead!
T
One year ago,on Super Bowl Sunday I took a picture in my Steelers get-up. I always hated that picture. I mean, really, truly hated that picture. I felt like I was the Stay-puff marshmallow man (anyone get the Ghostbuster's reference?). Or the Phillsbury dough-boy. If you poked my stomach, I would let out a giggle or something.
Either way, I hated that picture. Oh yeah, here it is right now...
Don't I look terrible? I look like I feel awful, and frankly, looking back on it I did feel awful. I felt so tired all the time and slow. Yes, I am who I am and I have learned to be comfortable with who I am now, but I was not comfortable here. Not at all.
Don't scroll down just yet! I have some more I want to say!
After my meeting with my doctor in April, it still took me a couple of weeks to really get to it. Once I did though, things began to happen. And they can happen for you too! In October, I went back to the kidney doctor. I had lost about 50 pounds by then. He told me that he had never seen a patient do a turn around like I did. That he had never had anyone who took what he said to heart, and improved their situation so much. My blood work was so much better. He wants to see me again in May, but he told me that if I keep up this pace, that he would only have to see me once every couple of years. Isn't that amazing???
So anyways, almost 60 pounds later, and this is me today.
Look at it! I have a neck! And a chin! And a long way to go.
I'm not stopping...but this photo is inspiration. It helps me see where I came from, and motivates me to keep going. Next year at the Super Bowl I will do a three photo blog!
I wish you all the best of luck on your journey, wherever that may lead!
T
Thursday, February 2, 2012
My time, His time
So, it's been about a week since I have posted on this blog, because frankly...I didn't have time.
Time? What? Time? How ironic that I just used that word because that's exactly what I want to talk about today! Ha! Funny how that works, isn't it?
Actually, I want to talk more about timing. Sometimes, our timing is bad. A friend of mine sent me a Facebook message yesterday reminding me of something. You're going to get a brief (hopefully) history lesson from me today. I told you once that I would tell you about my history with my weight, and today is that day.
So, you have some popcorn? Some fruit? Because sit back, I am going to take you on a journey....Once upon a time...31 one years ago I was born...
So I was a very active child. I was always running here, there and everywhere. I played soccer on an all boys soccer team (I didn't want to play with those sissy girls), and was pretty good at it too. I would climb trees like a monkey, ride my bike, roller skate, play football...you get the picture. To burn off extra energy, my mother would make me go outside and run around these three cherry trees that we had planted in the back yard.
Gradually, things began to change about the time I was 8 years old. Despite the fact that I was still active, I had begun to put on a few pounds and was a little more lethargic than I used to be. They also discovered blood pressure in me around that time, which the doctors at first thought was due to my allergy medication. Now, I was a child and don't remember much of the specifics. But the next few years I continued to gain weight, was much less active, was tired all the time and couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without breathing hard. My blood pressure was still high and my mother, the nurse, had me at different doctors and they put me through a battery of tests at the hospital. My mother was convinced I had a thyroid problem, but couldn't get any of the doctors to listen to her. Because my blood pressure was so high that put stress on my kidneys and they began to fail. Finally, when I was 12 years old, my mother got fed up with the doctors at the hospital and dropped my chart off at my grandmother's endocrinologist. (Thyroid doctor) Before she had even gotten home (a 15 minute drive), there was a message on the answering machine telling my mother to bring me in the next day, and to get this blood test done. As it turned out, I had a disease called Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Basically, that is when your body thinks your thyroid is a disease and attacks it and destroys it. Do you know you need your thyroid to live? It messes everything up! I was totally messed up. So I was put on a pill (a synthetic thyroid), and I have to take that every day for the rest of my life.
Fast forward several years. Because of the stress my kidney's went through, when I was 19 I had a kidney biopsy and it revealed I had 33% irreversible damage to my kidneys.
Fast forward several more years. I'm in Arkadelphia Arkansas, and a friend and I begin a weight loss journey. I lose 50 pounds. However, because I was not watching my thyroid, that went all out of whack and I gained it all back because of depression, insomnia, etc. (See, thyroid really has a hand in everything!)
So after that I began a season of stop and start dieting. We all know about this. We all have done this at one time or another. We are going good on a diet for a few weeks, or a month, and then we get stressed out, etc. That brings me to time.
My church in Arkadelphia began a program called "First Place". It is a combination weight loss/bible study. I wanted to do it. I really did. I went to the first one we did, even lost a few pounds (13 in one week one time, but that was because I had meningitis and couldn't eat anything), but an illness pulled me out of it. I wasn't ready. I thought I was...but I was working on my time.
This past year has been quite a journey for me. In February of 2011, I had some blood work done that was concerning. It showed that my kidneys were only functioning at 44%. While my thyroid was doing well and no adjustments in medication were needed, my kidneys were failing. So off to the kidney doctor I went in April. He sat me down and told me that I needed to loose 100 pounds. That I was in for a world of hurting, health wise and that I was too young to be going down this path. Basically, I would die young if I didn't make this change. He told me that I needed to go on a low protein diet that was designed to help me lose weight and even suggested I talk to a clinic about weight loss surgery. Yikes! That was drastic!
However, I did take his suggestion to heart. On May 3, 2011 I began my journey. I lost 30 pounds just by changing the way I ate. Hmmmm...why didn't that work before? Oh, that's right! God's time. Then I began to exercise.
Today, I am down 58 pounds. I am almost to 60. I can't wait to be at -60. The last three months have been a big struggle with my weight. While I haven't gained much back (only 5 pounds and most of those are gone already), I have had to make some adjustments. More stress has come into my life, less time to relax for me and less time to exercise. However, this is not the end.
After a LOT of research, I began to do a program called Power 90. If you have heard of P90X...well...it's not that. It's a beginners version of it. And I love it! I have done 11 days now and have already lost about 6 inches all over my body. I've gained .2 pounds but I know that is muscle and that will happen. Muscle does in fact weigh more than fat! Who knew? And no, I am not getting paid to advertise this product. I just love it so much and feel the effects from it. The first few days I was horribly sore, but now it's just a pleasant tiredness that reminds me I have exercised, and exercised well. And soon, the fat will be melting off. AFter the muscle building comes the fat loss.
Guys, I can't force you to do what I've done. Some of you don't need that. Some of you feel you need to but you're not ready. There will come a moment where God will put someone in your path, and that person or what they say will become your motivation. That's what happened for me. I wasn't ready. Not until God put that person in my life that told me that I was going to die young if I didn't turn this around.
Oh, by the way, my last blood work was AWESOME! My cholesterol dropped over 100 points, my kidney function has improved 8% and I am really on the upswing! See...God's timing.
I want to thank you for all the support I have gotten from everyone over these last 10 months of this journey. You have made me believe that I can do this, and have made me feel good from your compliments. I don't know what I would have done without you.
In His Time,
T
PS. Coming Monday! (or Tuesday) A picture of me at the Super Bowl last year and a picture of me at the Super Bowl this year! (no...not the actual super bowl...just a party). I will be wearing the same shirt and hopefully the difference will amaze you!
Oh, and feel free to ask me any questions you have. I'm very open about my medical issues and very comfortable talking about weight loss.
Time? What? Time? How ironic that I just used that word because that's exactly what I want to talk about today! Ha! Funny how that works, isn't it?
Actually, I want to talk more about timing. Sometimes, our timing is bad. A friend of mine sent me a Facebook message yesterday reminding me of something. You're going to get a brief (hopefully) history lesson from me today. I told you once that I would tell you about my history with my weight, and today is that day.
So, you have some popcorn? Some fruit? Because sit back, I am going to take you on a journey....Once upon a time...31 one years ago I was born...
So I was a very active child. I was always running here, there and everywhere. I played soccer on an all boys soccer team (I didn't want to play with those sissy girls), and was pretty good at it too. I would climb trees like a monkey, ride my bike, roller skate, play football...you get the picture. To burn off extra energy, my mother would make me go outside and run around these three cherry trees that we had planted in the back yard.
Gradually, things began to change about the time I was 8 years old. Despite the fact that I was still active, I had begun to put on a few pounds and was a little more lethargic than I used to be. They also discovered blood pressure in me around that time, which the doctors at first thought was due to my allergy medication. Now, I was a child and don't remember much of the specifics. But the next few years I continued to gain weight, was much less active, was tired all the time and couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without breathing hard. My blood pressure was still high and my mother, the nurse, had me at different doctors and they put me through a battery of tests at the hospital. My mother was convinced I had a thyroid problem, but couldn't get any of the doctors to listen to her. Because my blood pressure was so high that put stress on my kidneys and they began to fail. Finally, when I was 12 years old, my mother got fed up with the doctors at the hospital and dropped my chart off at my grandmother's endocrinologist. (Thyroid doctor) Before she had even gotten home (a 15 minute drive), there was a message on the answering machine telling my mother to bring me in the next day, and to get this blood test done. As it turned out, I had a disease called Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Basically, that is when your body thinks your thyroid is a disease and attacks it and destroys it. Do you know you need your thyroid to live? It messes everything up! I was totally messed up. So I was put on a pill (a synthetic thyroid), and I have to take that every day for the rest of my life.
Fast forward several years. Because of the stress my kidney's went through, when I was 19 I had a kidney biopsy and it revealed I had 33% irreversible damage to my kidneys.
Fast forward several more years. I'm in Arkadelphia Arkansas, and a friend and I begin a weight loss journey. I lose 50 pounds. However, because I was not watching my thyroid, that went all out of whack and I gained it all back because of depression, insomnia, etc. (See, thyroid really has a hand in everything!)
So after that I began a season of stop and start dieting. We all know about this. We all have done this at one time or another. We are going good on a diet for a few weeks, or a month, and then we get stressed out, etc. That brings me to time.
My church in Arkadelphia began a program called "First Place". It is a combination weight loss/bible study. I wanted to do it. I really did. I went to the first one we did, even lost a few pounds (13 in one week one time, but that was because I had meningitis and couldn't eat anything), but an illness pulled me out of it. I wasn't ready. I thought I was...but I was working on my time.
This past year has been quite a journey for me. In February of 2011, I had some blood work done that was concerning. It showed that my kidneys were only functioning at 44%. While my thyroid was doing well and no adjustments in medication were needed, my kidneys were failing. So off to the kidney doctor I went in April. He sat me down and told me that I needed to loose 100 pounds. That I was in for a world of hurting, health wise and that I was too young to be going down this path. Basically, I would die young if I didn't make this change. He told me that I needed to go on a low protein diet that was designed to help me lose weight and even suggested I talk to a clinic about weight loss surgery. Yikes! That was drastic!
However, I did take his suggestion to heart. On May 3, 2011 I began my journey. I lost 30 pounds just by changing the way I ate. Hmmmm...why didn't that work before? Oh, that's right! God's time. Then I began to exercise.
Today, I am down 58 pounds. I am almost to 60. I can't wait to be at -60. The last three months have been a big struggle with my weight. While I haven't gained much back (only 5 pounds and most of those are gone already), I have had to make some adjustments. More stress has come into my life, less time to relax for me and less time to exercise. However, this is not the end.
After a LOT of research, I began to do a program called Power 90. If you have heard of P90X...well...it's not that. It's a beginners version of it. And I love it! I have done 11 days now and have already lost about 6 inches all over my body. I've gained .2 pounds but I know that is muscle and that will happen. Muscle does in fact weigh more than fat! Who knew? And no, I am not getting paid to advertise this product. I just love it so much and feel the effects from it. The first few days I was horribly sore, but now it's just a pleasant tiredness that reminds me I have exercised, and exercised well. And soon, the fat will be melting off. AFter the muscle building comes the fat loss.
Guys, I can't force you to do what I've done. Some of you don't need that. Some of you feel you need to but you're not ready. There will come a moment where God will put someone in your path, and that person or what they say will become your motivation. That's what happened for me. I wasn't ready. Not until God put that person in my life that told me that I was going to die young if I didn't turn this around.
Oh, by the way, my last blood work was AWESOME! My cholesterol dropped over 100 points, my kidney function has improved 8% and I am really on the upswing! See...God's timing.
I want to thank you for all the support I have gotten from everyone over these last 10 months of this journey. You have made me believe that I can do this, and have made me feel good from your compliments. I don't know what I would have done without you.
In His Time,
T
PS. Coming Monday! (or Tuesday) A picture of me at the Super Bowl last year and a picture of me at the Super Bowl this year! (no...not the actual super bowl...just a party). I will be wearing the same shirt and hopefully the difference will amaze you!
Oh, and feel free to ask me any questions you have. I'm very open about my medical issues and very comfortable talking about weight loss.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
It's hard to turn a tree
So, how many of us have said this lately?
"I'm turning over a new leaf."
Ha! I've said that so many times in the last 8 months that I feel like I've turned over a whole new tree! Ok, not really, but I'm constantly turning over a new leaf. Sometimes that leaf stays turned over. Sometimes it doesn't.
So with that said, I'm turning over a new leaf! Today, I began a new step in my life. (Ok, I actually began it yesterday, but I didn't have time to blog yesterday, so for the sake of this post, we're going to pretend that today is yesterday. You with me so far?) I began a new program called Power 90.
What is Power 90 you might ask? Well, have you heard of P90X? Well, it's not that. I am in no way, shape or form ready for P90X. But I want to be. That's why I started Power 90. Power 90 is done by the same person (Tony Horton) who does P90X, but Power 90 is for beginners. I had gone online and looked at the P90X program because I needed something different. I love working out on the elliptical, but 1. I'm never home to do that, 2. Our elliptical leaves a lot to be desired and 3. Frankly it sucks doing the same thing over and over again. I dropped 30 pounds by doing nothing but changing my diet, I dropped another 30 pounds by doing the elliptical, but I was doing the same exercise over and over again, so the only places I was going to change were the places that machine worked on. I am looking for more total body fitness. Arms, legs, back, abs, etc. Not going to get all of that on the elliptical. You'll get a lot of it, but not all.
So flash forward to a week and a half ago. After a lot of deciding, thinking and studying (which included watching result videos on YouTube), I ordered the Power 90 program, and started it today. Wow!
The first day is all about sculpting. Basically, weights and exercises designed to work your arms and legs. I actually did not do too bad. I was able to keep up in everything except the push up and chair dips. Who knew that dipping on a chair could be so hard? Pretty soon, I was dripping on the chair. And push ups! Even on my knees I could not go all the way down. But that's ok! It was the first day! I felt great afterward, like I had really accomplished something. After I finished with the sculpting, I took a look ahead at what I was in for with cardio. Yikes! All I can say is that tomorrow might be fun!
Ok, let's go back to today being actually today. I did the cardio and abs portion this morning. I am beat! It's a good feeling, but I can feel that I've worked out all over my body. That's what I'm looking for! With the cardio, you did yoga (yuck!), jumping jacks, high knees, running in place, runners lunges, X work (which is where you draw and X on the floor, and move from side to side, up and down, back and forth) and so on. Then after a 30 second break, you went into some Tai Bo kind of moves like punches and kicks. With the first half of cardio, I didn't do great. I kept moving, but some of the moves were too hard for me to do just yet. Then I really got into it with all the punching and kicking. Love it!
And I am feeling it! How refreshing to find something that I can commit to for a relatively short amount of time, take with me anywhere I go, and that really does something! When I hit day 30, I will post my before pictures and then my Day 30 pictures to see the difference. But coming soon are pictures of me a year ago, when I weighed 273 pounds, and me now wearing the same shirt. You will not believe the difference. I still can't believe the difference!
Other than the fact I can't get my arms above my head, I feel great! And the last two days my diet has been wonderful too. So here I am again. For the 367th time (and that's just January), I'm turning over a new leaf. Keep track with me as I work on keeping that leaf turned over!
T
"I'm turning over a new leaf."
Ha! I've said that so many times in the last 8 months that I feel like I've turned over a whole new tree! Ok, not really, but I'm constantly turning over a new leaf. Sometimes that leaf stays turned over. Sometimes it doesn't.
So with that said, I'm turning over a new leaf! Today, I began a new step in my life. (Ok, I actually began it yesterday, but I didn't have time to blog yesterday, so for the sake of this post, we're going to pretend that today is yesterday. You with me so far?) I began a new program called Power 90.
What is Power 90 you might ask? Well, have you heard of P90X? Well, it's not that. I am in no way, shape or form ready for P90X. But I want to be. That's why I started Power 90. Power 90 is done by the same person (Tony Horton) who does P90X, but Power 90 is for beginners. I had gone online and looked at the P90X program because I needed something different. I love working out on the elliptical, but 1. I'm never home to do that, 2. Our elliptical leaves a lot to be desired and 3. Frankly it sucks doing the same thing over and over again. I dropped 30 pounds by doing nothing but changing my diet, I dropped another 30 pounds by doing the elliptical, but I was doing the same exercise over and over again, so the only places I was going to change were the places that machine worked on. I am looking for more total body fitness. Arms, legs, back, abs, etc. Not going to get all of that on the elliptical. You'll get a lot of it, but not all.
So flash forward to a week and a half ago. After a lot of deciding, thinking and studying (which included watching result videos on YouTube), I ordered the Power 90 program, and started it today. Wow!
The first day is all about sculpting. Basically, weights and exercises designed to work your arms and legs. I actually did not do too bad. I was able to keep up in everything except the push up and chair dips. Who knew that dipping on a chair could be so hard? Pretty soon, I was dripping on the chair. And push ups! Even on my knees I could not go all the way down. But that's ok! It was the first day! I felt great afterward, like I had really accomplished something. After I finished with the sculpting, I took a look ahead at what I was in for with cardio. Yikes! All I can say is that tomorrow might be fun!
Ok, let's go back to today being actually today. I did the cardio and abs portion this morning. I am beat! It's a good feeling, but I can feel that I've worked out all over my body. That's what I'm looking for! With the cardio, you did yoga (yuck!), jumping jacks, high knees, running in place, runners lunges, X work (which is where you draw and X on the floor, and move from side to side, up and down, back and forth) and so on. Then after a 30 second break, you went into some Tai Bo kind of moves like punches and kicks. With the first half of cardio, I didn't do great. I kept moving, but some of the moves were too hard for me to do just yet. Then I really got into it with all the punching and kicking. Love it!
And I am feeling it! How refreshing to find something that I can commit to for a relatively short amount of time, take with me anywhere I go, and that really does something! When I hit day 30, I will post my before pictures and then my Day 30 pictures to see the difference. But coming soon are pictures of me a year ago, when I weighed 273 pounds, and me now wearing the same shirt. You will not believe the difference. I still can't believe the difference!
Other than the fact I can't get my arms above my head, I feel great! And the last two days my diet has been wonderful too. So here I am again. For the 367th time (and that's just January), I'm turning over a new leaf. Keep track with me as I work on keeping that leaf turned over!
T
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
What's in a Name?
The time has come for me to tackle the one question that everyone keeps asking me. Why did I call my blog "Fat Chick on a Journey?"
More than one person has asked me why I'm calling my blog this. A few have been really upset by it actually. I've heard, "Tracie, you're not fat! It upsets me that you are defining yourself this way."
I can see why this might be upsetting. You may feel that I am putting myself down by calling myself "Fat". Maybe you're afraid that I have a self esteem issue because I call myself fat. But let me stop you right there.
I call this blog "Fat Chick on a Journey" because that is who I am. And it has taken me a very long time to accept that. It does not define me, it does not degrade me. It is my statement to the world, telling them that who I am is ok, whether I am fat or thin or somewhere in between. I will always be a fat chick. Even if I weigh 120 pounds, I will always be a fat chick. And I couldn't face that until I learned to accept myself for who I am.
My weight does not define me. It holds me back. I always want to remember that. No matter how many times I reinvent myself, no matter how many pounds I lose, I will always be a fat chick. And that's ok. The title of my blog is to continually remind me who I am, and to remind me to be comfortable in the way God made me. Being fat is not my fault. I did not choose to be that way. I had some health problems in my past that I could not help, and those health problems are what began the weight gain. And I never was comfortable in my body. I had way too much energy to be fat. I hated myself. I degraded myself. I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw.
But now I can accept it. The naming of my blog was my acceptance of who God made me to be. This fat chick is a lot thinner than she used to be, and will be smaller still. But until I learned to be comfortable with who I was, I could never have become what I am now. A fat chick on her way to being a healthy fat chick.
I will never forget my past and how I got to where I am right now. I am comfortable with me, fatness and all, and I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished.
So...that's why! Hope you have a great day...Fat Chick OUT!
T
More than one person has asked me why I'm calling my blog this. A few have been really upset by it actually. I've heard, "Tracie, you're not fat! It upsets me that you are defining yourself this way."
I can see why this might be upsetting. You may feel that I am putting myself down by calling myself "Fat". Maybe you're afraid that I have a self esteem issue because I call myself fat. But let me stop you right there.
I call this blog "Fat Chick on a Journey" because that is who I am. And it has taken me a very long time to accept that. It does not define me, it does not degrade me. It is my statement to the world, telling them that who I am is ok, whether I am fat or thin or somewhere in between. I will always be a fat chick. Even if I weigh 120 pounds, I will always be a fat chick. And I couldn't face that until I learned to accept myself for who I am.
My weight does not define me. It holds me back. I always want to remember that. No matter how many times I reinvent myself, no matter how many pounds I lose, I will always be a fat chick. And that's ok. The title of my blog is to continually remind me who I am, and to remind me to be comfortable in the way God made me. Being fat is not my fault. I did not choose to be that way. I had some health problems in my past that I could not help, and those health problems are what began the weight gain. And I never was comfortable in my body. I had way too much energy to be fat. I hated myself. I degraded myself. I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw.
But now I can accept it. The naming of my blog was my acceptance of who God made me to be. This fat chick is a lot thinner than she used to be, and will be smaller still. But until I learned to be comfortable with who I was, I could never have become what I am now. A fat chick on her way to being a healthy fat chick.
I will never forget my past and how I got to where I am right now. I am comfortable with me, fatness and all, and I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished.
So...that's why! Hope you have a great day...Fat Chick OUT!
T
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Football and fatness....
You know, sometimes things go along really well. You're doing really well with control, with your eating habits, with curbing your temptations and BAM! You give in. Why does that happen? You're eating so well, and then there is one incident that just throws your whole momentum off.
Mine is football. I did really well, eating wise last week. I watched everything I put in my mouth, I didn't give in to temptation. I didn't even overindulge during the lock in (only one donut!). Then came the playoff game on Sunday afternoon. Steelers vs. Broncos. You know we had a party! All the regulars from the family and beyond gathered at our house for Steelers football. And we brought the goodies! We had stromboli, soup, turkey chili cheese dip (hey, at least that was turkey, right?) and these awesome little smokies wrapped in bacon...oh...and a veggie tray. (One of these things is not like the other....)
And boy did we eat! Of course, we tried everything. We even had brownie/cookie pie for dessert. We lost the game and I lost my focus. I ate poorly so I slept poorly. I slept poorly so I didn't get up to exercise. I didn't get up to exercise so I was half dead on my feet all day...and the cycle keeps on going! I actually didn't do too bad yesterday, but today I had fast food for lunch and I made a poor choice.
Why do we do that? We know what makes us feel better! We know that when we eat healthy, we feel better, we sleep better and we are more pleasant to be around. At least it is that way for me (right, Mom?). And yet I continue to give in to temptation and put bad things in my mouth, sleep in, and just in general be lazy. Where does it end?
The last year has been a struggle to lose every pound, and especially in the last two and a half months. With grandpa's fall and spending most of the month of November sitting with him at the hospital, and a lot of December and January so far sitting with him at home, I am stressed out and thrown off balance. But I know what will make me feel better! So why don't I do it?
Do any of you feel this way? Let's encourage each other to stay on track. I know that a lot of you have told me about your struggles, and by reading on facebook, a lot of you are facing the same ones I am. So let's bond together! Let's help each other in our stress, rejoice in our triumphs and encourage each other to stay the course. I have lost 3 of the five pounds I put on during the holidays, so something is working. All you out there, kick my butt and keep me going please!
I do have to share with you a conversation I had with a friend of mine via text message. She knows how much I love the Steelers, and that I was sad that they had lost the game on Sunday. Maybe that depression led to my poor choices...I would love to blame that on the Steelers losing! Anyway, this is the message I woke up to on Monday morning and the conversation that followed.
S: My condolences. Maybe it will make not watching the Super Bowl at our house seem okay.
T: Thank you for your prayers in this trying time.
S: Yes, this situation has been heavy on my heart and has been lifted up many times over. Your family has had so many struggles of late, but this...this is just too much...
T: I agree. I went to bed broken hearted. I can't believe that God has given me one more thing to deal with. A person can only take so much...
Humor..got to love it! That conversation actually went on to reveal that the reason the Steelers lost the football game was because my grandfather was not wearing his lucky underwear. Oh well, what are you going to do! This too shall pass....
Alrighty there brothers and sisters! Let's continue to build each other up and hold each other in highest regard! I will pray for you and please, please, pray for me!
T
Mine is football. I did really well, eating wise last week. I watched everything I put in my mouth, I didn't give in to temptation. I didn't even overindulge during the lock in (only one donut!). Then came the playoff game on Sunday afternoon. Steelers vs. Broncos. You know we had a party! All the regulars from the family and beyond gathered at our house for Steelers football. And we brought the goodies! We had stromboli, soup, turkey chili cheese dip (hey, at least that was turkey, right?) and these awesome little smokies wrapped in bacon...oh...and a veggie tray. (One of these things is not like the other....)
And boy did we eat! Of course, we tried everything. We even had brownie/cookie pie for dessert. We lost the game and I lost my focus. I ate poorly so I slept poorly. I slept poorly so I didn't get up to exercise. I didn't get up to exercise so I was half dead on my feet all day...and the cycle keeps on going! I actually didn't do too bad yesterday, but today I had fast food for lunch and I made a poor choice.
Why do we do that? We know what makes us feel better! We know that when we eat healthy, we feel better, we sleep better and we are more pleasant to be around. At least it is that way for me (right, Mom?). And yet I continue to give in to temptation and put bad things in my mouth, sleep in, and just in general be lazy. Where does it end?
The last year has been a struggle to lose every pound, and especially in the last two and a half months. With grandpa's fall and spending most of the month of November sitting with him at the hospital, and a lot of December and January so far sitting with him at home, I am stressed out and thrown off balance. But I know what will make me feel better! So why don't I do it?
Do any of you feel this way? Let's encourage each other to stay on track. I know that a lot of you have told me about your struggles, and by reading on facebook, a lot of you are facing the same ones I am. So let's bond together! Let's help each other in our stress, rejoice in our triumphs and encourage each other to stay the course. I have lost 3 of the five pounds I put on during the holidays, so something is working. All you out there, kick my butt and keep me going please!
I do have to share with you a conversation I had with a friend of mine via text message. She knows how much I love the Steelers, and that I was sad that they had lost the game on Sunday. Maybe that depression led to my poor choices...I would love to blame that on the Steelers losing! Anyway, this is the message I woke up to on Monday morning and the conversation that followed.
S: My condolences. Maybe it will make not watching the Super Bowl at our house seem okay.
T: Thank you for your prayers in this trying time.
S: Yes, this situation has been heavy on my heart and has been lifted up many times over. Your family has had so many struggles of late, but this...this is just too much...
T: I agree. I went to bed broken hearted. I can't believe that God has given me one more thing to deal with. A person can only take so much...
Humor..got to love it! That conversation actually went on to reveal that the reason the Steelers lost the football game was because my grandfather was not wearing his lucky underwear. Oh well, what are you going to do! This too shall pass....
Alrighty there brothers and sisters! Let's continue to build each other up and hold each other in highest regard! I will pray for you and please, please, pray for me!
T
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Locked and Loaded
Ah, Lock-ins. I just love lock-ins. What with all the sleep I get, and I awake feeling refreshed and...oh wait...that's not a lock-in! That's a lock-out!
In all seriousness, I don't mind lock-ins...until about 4am. That's when this fat chick hits the wall. And considering it is now 6:13 in the morning and I have yet to go to sleep, well, you see what I mean.
Not to mention, a lock-in is a stuff your mouth fest! Pizza, chips, popcorn, brownies...it all goes down the hatch. The only saving grace when it comes to a lock in is that I hardly ever sit down, so I work all that food off as I go along. And in 45 minutes, I'm going to go pick up donuts. Score!
You know what I do love? Watching youth interact with each other. It's amazing. I work with youth and children for a living, and they never cease to surprise me. They way they fight but ten minutes later it is all ok. The way they pull each other in. One girl said something to me tonight, and I don't think I will forget it for a long time. She kind of snuck up to me in a way, and said, "I never knew I could find friends at church." Yikes! She never knew she could find friends at church?! What does that say about church?!
I have the opportunity to work with two different youth groups. Each of the groups are unique in their own ways, and like different things. One group likes more wild and crazy games. The other group likes to study more. But being around these kids makes my life full. Yes, sometimes I get frustrated. Sometimes I want to knock some heads together. Sometimes I want to take their cell phones and smash them to bits. But always there is something wonderful that happens. I never realized how lucky I am to be able to work with so many different kids.
So here I am, locked-in, loaded with caffeine and my mind is blown. To all of you who had a good night's sleep....Pffffffftttttttttt! (that's me blowing a raspberry at you). To those of you who didn't, sorry for your luck. We're getting too old for this stuff! But I love it!
T
In all seriousness, I don't mind lock-ins...until about 4am. That's when this fat chick hits the wall. And considering it is now 6:13 in the morning and I have yet to go to sleep, well, you see what I mean.
Not to mention, a lock-in is a stuff your mouth fest! Pizza, chips, popcorn, brownies...it all goes down the hatch. The only saving grace when it comes to a lock in is that I hardly ever sit down, so I work all that food off as I go along. And in 45 minutes, I'm going to go pick up donuts. Score!
You know what I do love? Watching youth interact with each other. It's amazing. I work with youth and children for a living, and they never cease to surprise me. They way they fight but ten minutes later it is all ok. The way they pull each other in. One girl said something to me tonight, and I don't think I will forget it for a long time. She kind of snuck up to me in a way, and said, "I never knew I could find friends at church." Yikes! She never knew she could find friends at church?! What does that say about church?!
I have the opportunity to work with two different youth groups. Each of the groups are unique in their own ways, and like different things. One group likes more wild and crazy games. The other group likes to study more. But being around these kids makes my life full. Yes, sometimes I get frustrated. Sometimes I want to knock some heads together. Sometimes I want to take their cell phones and smash them to bits. But always there is something wonderful that happens. I never realized how lucky I am to be able to work with so many different kids.
So here I am, locked-in, loaded with caffeine and my mind is blown. To all of you who had a good night's sleep....Pffffffftttttttttt! (that's me blowing a raspberry at you). To those of you who didn't, sorry for your luck. We're getting too old for this stuff! But I love it!
T
Friday, January 6, 2012
Helpless
I cried this morning.
I know...shocker, right? I do cry...maybe not often, but I do. And I did this morning. Why? Let me take you back a little while.
On Saturday, November 5 I was house sitting in Huntington, and I got a phone call at 5:30 in the morning from my mother, telling me that my grandfather had fallen, and they were waiting on the ambulance to take him to the hospital. So I jumped in the car and took off up to Winfield. Grandpa had fallen in the bathroom and had hit is head and various other parts of his body. I met them at the hospital so I never did get to see the bathroom, but I'm told it looked like Vietnam had happened in there. When grandpa got to the hospital they scanned him and discovered he had a bleed in his brain.
Then the insanity began. He lost his speech at one point due to seizures, he ended up with an infection in his elbow and in his blood stream and he had pneumonia. He finally improved enough that he was released to Health South rehab, and then he improved enough there that he finally got to come on on December 1st. However, he could not come home alone. So we have been taking turns staying with him and we have someone who sits with him during the day.
Flash forward to this morning. It was my turn to stay the night with grandpa. He got up to use the restroom about 3:30 this morning, and called out to me that he was going to use the urinal beside his bed. Well, a few minutes later I hear a commotion and he called out that he had fallen. Now, he wasn't badly hurt, just a few bumps and bruises. Didn't hit his head, didn't break anything. I patched him up, got him up and got him back into bed. Through all that, I held it together. I mean, I knew it was going to happen. It was just a matter of time. He is so unsteady on his feet, and it is inevitable that he will fall again.
So I went back into the bedroom and called my mother to let her know what happened so she could stop by and check him before she went to work. I even held it together while I was on the phone with her. Then I hung up and broke down. I couldn't help it. I felt so...helpless.
I know it wasn't my fault that he fell. And I know it's not my fault that he is in the condition that he is in. And I know other people in my family feel this way. We just feel helpless. We want to make him better, and we can't. All we can do is keep him safe.
But we don't that don't we? We beat ourselves up when we see people who we love hurt because there's nothing we can do about it. We want to save them from pain and hurt, either physically or mentally. But we can't.
It says in Romans 8:28--"In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." We are all called by God in one way or another. And everything that happens in our lives has a bright spot. Yes, it's bad that grandpa is ill, but what is good about it is that we have the opportunity to spend time with him. I only saw him twice a year for seven years, and now I have the chance to help him, to get to know him, to be there for him. That is the silver lining in this cloud.
May we look for the silver linings in our clouds today, and not feel so....Helpless.
T
I know...shocker, right? I do cry...maybe not often, but I do. And I did this morning. Why? Let me take you back a little while.
On Saturday, November 5 I was house sitting in Huntington, and I got a phone call at 5:30 in the morning from my mother, telling me that my grandfather had fallen, and they were waiting on the ambulance to take him to the hospital. So I jumped in the car and took off up to Winfield. Grandpa had fallen in the bathroom and had hit is head and various other parts of his body. I met them at the hospital so I never did get to see the bathroom, but I'm told it looked like Vietnam had happened in there. When grandpa got to the hospital they scanned him and discovered he had a bleed in his brain.
Then the insanity began. He lost his speech at one point due to seizures, he ended up with an infection in his elbow and in his blood stream and he had pneumonia. He finally improved enough that he was released to Health South rehab, and then he improved enough there that he finally got to come on on December 1st. However, he could not come home alone. So we have been taking turns staying with him and we have someone who sits with him during the day.
Flash forward to this morning. It was my turn to stay the night with grandpa. He got up to use the restroom about 3:30 this morning, and called out to me that he was going to use the urinal beside his bed. Well, a few minutes later I hear a commotion and he called out that he had fallen. Now, he wasn't badly hurt, just a few bumps and bruises. Didn't hit his head, didn't break anything. I patched him up, got him up and got him back into bed. Through all that, I held it together. I mean, I knew it was going to happen. It was just a matter of time. He is so unsteady on his feet, and it is inevitable that he will fall again.
So I went back into the bedroom and called my mother to let her know what happened so she could stop by and check him before she went to work. I even held it together while I was on the phone with her. Then I hung up and broke down. I couldn't help it. I felt so...helpless.
I know it wasn't my fault that he fell. And I know it's not my fault that he is in the condition that he is in. And I know other people in my family feel this way. We just feel helpless. We want to make him better, and we can't. All we can do is keep him safe.
But we don't that don't we? We beat ourselves up when we see people who we love hurt because there's nothing we can do about it. We want to save them from pain and hurt, either physically or mentally. But we can't.
It says in Romans 8:28--"In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." We are all called by God in one way or another. And everything that happens in our lives has a bright spot. Yes, it's bad that grandpa is ill, but what is good about it is that we have the opportunity to spend time with him. I only saw him twice a year for seven years, and now I have the chance to help him, to get to know him, to be there for him. That is the silver lining in this cloud.
May we look for the silver linings in our clouds today, and not feel so....Helpless.
T
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Excuse Me!
Ok, I will admit this to everyone. Sometimes I'm just plain lazy. For those of you who know me, I'm sure that does not come as a shock. For those of you who don't know me, pick yourself up off the floor. Once you know me better, you will understand!
I felt so good yesterday. I ate healthy after about a month of not really watching what I was eating (darn holidays!), I drank lots of water, I got up and exercised. Then, I got a headache. Somewhere around mid-afternoon, my head began to pound! So instead of going to spend time with my grandfather and eat dinner with him and my mother, along with my aunt and cousin who had made chili, I stopped by, said hi and went home. I proceeded to make poor choices in eating. Why? Because it was easier. We had Doritos, and I know they needed to be eaten. The turkey burger wasn't actually a bad choice, but the Doritos. Ate way too many and added cheese on top of it.
Then, to make matters worse, I did not get up to exercise this morning. See? Lazy. Not to mention I stepped on the scale and I'm up five pounds from my pre-holiday weight of 213.4, so that makes me none too happy as well.
See? I'm full of excuses! Aren't we all? We all have them...you know what they sound like! "I can't do that, I'm too tired." "I don't know how to do that so I'm just not going to." "I can't do it by myself and I won't ask for help, so I'm just not going to do it." "I don't have enough time." We have a million of them, and I've heard some good ones in my time as a church worker! But I can't blame anyone, because I am full of excuses too.
Last night I watched The Biggest Loser. For the SECOND time, I actually know someone who is on the show. I don't know them well, but I am excited for them and their journey. I actually considered trying to get on that show at one time, but this time was excited to discover that for the first time I weigh less than everyone on the ranch (at the beginning of the show anyways). That felt good. Should have inspired me to get up and do my exercises, right? Wrong. I was full of excuses.
The premise behind the show this year is that we are leaving excuses behind. So while I'm sitting here bashing myself for the excuses I have made yesterday and today, I'm realizing that I need to shut up. No more excuses for my failure. The important thing is to understand that I will fail sometimes, but to not try, or to give excuses for not trying is the real failure. (Feel free to enter dramatic music here). I am going to pick myself up and move on because yes, Scarlett, today is another day.
So please excuse me, but I have work I need to do! Hope you all have a wonderful, blessed day. Thanks to all of you who read this blog yesterday and made comments either on here or Facebook. If you continue to enjoy it, let your friends know!
T
I felt so good yesterday. I ate healthy after about a month of not really watching what I was eating (darn holidays!), I drank lots of water, I got up and exercised. Then, I got a headache. Somewhere around mid-afternoon, my head began to pound! So instead of going to spend time with my grandfather and eat dinner with him and my mother, along with my aunt and cousin who had made chili, I stopped by, said hi and went home. I proceeded to make poor choices in eating. Why? Because it was easier. We had Doritos, and I know they needed to be eaten. The turkey burger wasn't actually a bad choice, but the Doritos. Ate way too many and added cheese on top of it.
Then, to make matters worse, I did not get up to exercise this morning. See? Lazy. Not to mention I stepped on the scale and I'm up five pounds from my pre-holiday weight of 213.4, so that makes me none too happy as well.
See? I'm full of excuses! Aren't we all? We all have them...you know what they sound like! "I can't do that, I'm too tired." "I don't know how to do that so I'm just not going to." "I can't do it by myself and I won't ask for help, so I'm just not going to do it." "I don't have enough time." We have a million of them, and I've heard some good ones in my time as a church worker! But I can't blame anyone, because I am full of excuses too.
Last night I watched The Biggest Loser. For the SECOND time, I actually know someone who is on the show. I don't know them well, but I am excited for them and their journey. I actually considered trying to get on that show at one time, but this time was excited to discover that for the first time I weigh less than everyone on the ranch (at the beginning of the show anyways). That felt good. Should have inspired me to get up and do my exercises, right? Wrong. I was full of excuses.
The premise behind the show this year is that we are leaving excuses behind. So while I'm sitting here bashing myself for the excuses I have made yesterday and today, I'm realizing that I need to shut up. No more excuses for my failure. The important thing is to understand that I will fail sometimes, but to not try, or to give excuses for not trying is the real failure. (Feel free to enter dramatic music here). I am going to pick myself up and move on because yes, Scarlett, today is another day.
So please excuse me, but I have work I need to do! Hope you all have a wonderful, blessed day. Thanks to all of you who read this blog yesterday and made comments either on here or Facebook. If you continue to enjoy it, let your friends know!
T
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Journey starts in the middle...
Sometimes in life we begin a journey, but don't start to chronicle it until the middle. Let me tell you a little bit about myself.
My name is Tracie. I'm 31, single, and live in a fairly small town in West Virginia. I am the Youth Pastor and Children's leader for a medium-size church. I am unremarkable, but slightly funny and enjoy life. I am very family oriented, love spending time with my niece and nephew, and help take care of my grandfather, who has had a very rough journey lately.
In April of 2011, I had an appointment with a Nephrologist (Kidney Doctor). Sometime I will tell you about all the past health problems I had that created this other problem, but bottom line was that he told me my kidney's were only functioning at 44%, and that if I didn't do something I was going to be in for a world of hurt! Now, to be clear, I don't like to hurt, so I sat up and paid attention.
Oh, I forgot to mention something. I'm fat. Not just a little overweight, we're talking part small whale kind of fat.. Ok, maybe not that fat, but pretty obese. And it's not something that just snuck up on me overnight...I've been fat for a long time. Since I was a kid, thanks to Children's Hospital and their inability to give me a simple blood test. I have a thyroid disorder and that happened to me at a very young age. Because of that, I have many more problems, and this kidney crap was just next in line. The doctor told me I needed to lose 100 pounds, or my health would be in serious danger. He also told me that I was to go on a low protein diet. Do you know what that means? Did you know that protein consists of meat, cheese, and dairy products?
My mother, who works with a registered dietician in her office, and him do me up a diet. It only allows me 7 ounces of protein a day. Yep...seven. Think about when you go out to dinner, what is the smallest steak you can eat? Yep...8 oz. So, seven ounces a day. Ok, I can do that right? Oh, that's not just meat, that's cheese and dairy. Ok, here we go!
Surprise! I started the Journey on May 3, 2011. Just by changing my diet, I lost 30 pounds. 30 pounds! That's insane! Just by eating??? Oh, and even bigger surprise! I actually like the diet and can stick to it!
So here I am, right here, right now. It is January 3, 2012 and I am down almost 60 pounds. I say almost 60 pounds because I am down 59.6 pounds. Where did I start? I'm not shy, I'll say it. I started at 273 pounds. So I currently weigh in at 213.4 pounds. Some day, I'll post before and after pictures.
So is this a dieting blog? Maybe. It's also a life blog. There is a lot more to me than being on a diet. So here I am, a Fat Chick on a journey to life, the universe and everything. And as always, the answer is 42.
T
My name is Tracie. I'm 31, single, and live in a fairly small town in West Virginia. I am the Youth Pastor and Children's leader for a medium-size church. I am unremarkable, but slightly funny and enjoy life. I am very family oriented, love spending time with my niece and nephew, and help take care of my grandfather, who has had a very rough journey lately.
In April of 2011, I had an appointment with a Nephrologist (Kidney Doctor). Sometime I will tell you about all the past health problems I had that created this other problem, but bottom line was that he told me my kidney's were only functioning at 44%, and that if I didn't do something I was going to be in for a world of hurt! Now, to be clear, I don't like to hurt, so I sat up and paid attention.
Oh, I forgot to mention something. I'm fat. Not just a little overweight, we're talking part small whale kind of fat.. Ok, maybe not that fat, but pretty obese. And it's not something that just snuck up on me overnight...I've been fat for a long time. Since I was a kid, thanks to Children's Hospital and their inability to give me a simple blood test. I have a thyroid disorder and that happened to me at a very young age. Because of that, I have many more problems, and this kidney crap was just next in line. The doctor told me I needed to lose 100 pounds, or my health would be in serious danger. He also told me that I was to go on a low protein diet. Do you know what that means? Did you know that protein consists of meat, cheese, and dairy products?
My mother, who works with a registered dietician in her office, and him do me up a diet. It only allows me 7 ounces of protein a day. Yep...seven. Think about when you go out to dinner, what is the smallest steak you can eat? Yep...8 oz. So, seven ounces a day. Ok, I can do that right? Oh, that's not just meat, that's cheese and dairy. Ok, here we go!
Surprise! I started the Journey on May 3, 2011. Just by changing my diet, I lost 30 pounds. 30 pounds! That's insane! Just by eating??? Oh, and even bigger surprise! I actually like the diet and can stick to it!
So here I am, right here, right now. It is January 3, 2012 and I am down almost 60 pounds. I say almost 60 pounds because I am down 59.6 pounds. Where did I start? I'm not shy, I'll say it. I started at 273 pounds. So I currently weigh in at 213.4 pounds. Some day, I'll post before and after pictures.
So is this a dieting blog? Maybe. It's also a life blog. There is a lot more to me than being on a diet. So here I am, a Fat Chick on a journey to life, the universe and everything. And as always, the answer is 42.
T
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