Be Sick...Be loved

I woke up yesterday feeling really good.

I was alive...always a good thing.  I had a good night's sleep and when I got on the scale in the morning, I was down another 1.2 pounds, which means I had made it past -60 pounds!  I was at -60.4.  I don't care what anyone says...that .4 is very important!  Even better, I knew I would be heading to not one, but two doctor's appointments in Charleston very shortly, and they are both doctors who have to look at my weight. 

Don't you hate weighing in at the doctor's office?  I mean...when you're weighing in the comfort of your own home, it doesn't matter what you wear.  I will admit, I weigh in with nothing on.  I mean...that watch of mine adds ounces...one point of that .4 pounds might have been because I took my watch off before I weighed in, right?

Well, then you go to the doctor's office and what do they make you do?  First thing...weigh in.  And you have to weigh in as is...I mean...they don't even have you take your shoes off!  Don't they know how much shoes weigh?!  My mother told me one time that when the doctor weighs you in, they only account a half a pound for your clothing.  A half of a pound?  My watch weighs more than a half of a pound!  So how happy was I that my first doctor's appointment just let me tell them what I weighed in at this morning...but they rounded up to the nearest full pound which means I lost my .4...small price to pay.  I wasn't so lucky at the second doctor.  It was after lunch and they made me stand up on the scale to weigh in...they wouldn't just let me tell them.  So of course, I was heavier because I had just eaten lunch...and I was fully clothed!

Well, enough about that.  Bottom line is that my doctor's appointments went fine.  My numbers for my kidneys were pretty good...they are functioning close to half, which is an improvement.  My thyroid levels were low which means my thyroid was slightly overactive and she needed to cut my medication back a dose...again.  I'm ok with that!  The more weight I lose, the less thyroid medication I need.  The protein level in my urine is getting much better.  For those of you who don't know about that, they do a spot urine test that tells the level of protein.  Lots of protein = bad.  The normal level for this is supposed to be between 0 and 17.  Last April (2011), mine was 790.  Waaayyyyyy bad.  In November, when I went back to the kidney doctor, it was 118.  Wayyyyyyy better, but still high.  Yesterday it was 42.  Lots better...still high...but lots better.  Amazing what happens when you take care of yourself!

Now comes the sick part.  In my profession, I get confessed to a lot.  Children, youth, adults...strangers...doesn't matter.  In fact, I get confessed to in the line at the grocery store...which is slightly awkward.  I think I have a sign on my forehead that says "attention all strangers, tell me your life story."  Which is fine.  Usually I don't mind.  But this time I know the person who confessed to me.  And it wasn't the confession that threw me off.  I learned a long time ago when you tell someone that they can tell you anything to be prepared for...well....anything.  I've heard some doozies over the years.  No...what got me about this confession was the way that it started. 

It started with, "Tracie, please don't hate me for this." 

Hate you?  I would never hate you!  I was slapped in the face one time by an incident at church, and I told myself right then I would never let a youth feel the way I felt at that moment.  Alone, lost, dropped.  I promised myself I would never let a kid feel that way.  I may have failed at that sometimes over the years, but I wasn't going to this time.

That makes me think of the gospel.  There is a great blogger named Jonathan Acuff.  He writes a blog called Stuffchristianslike.net.  It's an amazing blog and very insightful.  Mostly satire, but there are posts that he likes to call "Serious Wednesdays".  In one of those "Serious Wednesdays" posts, he sums up the gospel in four words.  Words that I have adopted lately and believe with all of my heart that he is correct in.  Those words are...Be sick...be loved.  Jesus didn't come for the well, for the whole.  He came for the sick.  He came for the broken.  We can be sick.  In that moment, the moment of our coming to Him in our sickness, in our brokenness, we are loved.  We don't have to be perfect to come to Him.  In fact, there's no way we can be perfect.  We are sick.  We are broken.  Yet the amazing thing about it, we are loved. 

That is what I told this person.  I don't care about your brokenness.  I don't care what you've done.  You can be sick around me.  We are all sick.  But you are loved.

I have learned some amazing lessons this week.  The wonders of God and His timing never cease to amaze me.  God knows what we need right when we need it, and for that, I will always be grateful.  I didn't know I was looking for something, but God showed me what I needed.  Our God is an Awesome God....indeed.

So for everyone out there today...

Be Sick...Be Loved.

T