Hi Everyone!
I realize that it has been a very long time since my last post, and I could sit here and come up with a million excuses why...but I'm not going to! Let's just say I have been a fat chick on a journey, but the journey was not leading in the same direction I was headed before. In fact, I kind of turned around and went straight back to where I was. Why? I could tell you a million excuses, but (to quote a very famous person) "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
What I have time for is the here and now. So let's get going!
Some of you may be asking why I chose "Boom! Pow!" for the title of this first post back after almost a year of absence. Well, that is a good question.
If you ask my 2 year old niece and nephew, they would liken Boom! Pow! to the fist bump with the explosion at the end. The celebration after a touchdown or a big accomplishment (peeing in the potty, for example). For me today, Boom Pow isn't a huge accomplishment. It is more of a slap in the face.
I admit, this has not been the easiest year and a half for me. Much of my time was spent as a caregiver to my grandfather, who if you have been on my Facebook page at all in the last year and a half, you know was a wonderful, loving, funny and caring man. The fact that I was in a position and able to help take care of him for a year and a half after he fell and had the brain bleed was a honor and a privilege. We had many wonderful times together, watched many hours of news, sports and Jeopardy (and if you asked him, I am much better at Jeopardy than my mother!) and talked about everything. I also shared my life with him, showing him photos of friends and family, telling him funny stories about the church and sharing frustrations and hurts.
Maybe I can say that I had been so focused on him and his needs, that I didn't think about my own health needs. But we all know that isn't true. It is possible to do both. I got lazy. I was stressed, it was hard to pack a bag and stay away from home every weekend, and food has been and is a comfort. One of the most readily available and easy to get comforts. Stressed? Hey look...a bag of chips. And how about some cheddar cheese to go along with that!
A few weeks ago, on the Wednesday before Easter, grandpa passed away. He had fought a long battle, but had finished his race. He went to heaven on Grandma's birthday, which I just think is one of the sweetest things ever. He wanted to be home with Grandma on her birthday. What a great gift.
And grandpa left behind many great and wonderful gifts as well. He left behind a family who loves him, who will always think about him with a smile on their face, and who will know that he takes pride in each of their accomplishments.
Last week, I went back to the doctor's. I had kept up with appointments, but I have not kept up with my journey...my journey to be healthy. Needless to say, my numbers were not good. My kidney function is lower than they want it to be, and lower than it was a year ago. I needed to up some medications, change others around and run a few more tests to see the whole picture. So I went back to my mother and asked for a new meal plan. Oh, did she deliver!
In the last year, my mother's first co-worker, Richard (who did my first meal plan), retired. My first meal plan as it was, was a Boom! Pow! moment in itself. Because my body does not process protein correctly, he had me eating only 7 oz of meat, cheese and dairy a day. Seven ounces! Think about it. The smallest steak at Outback is 6oz. That is almost the whole day! That was a big enough shock!
Then, this new meal plan comes along. (April, I love ya, but wow!). The new co-worker that my mother has working with her has a lot of experience in renal diets. That makes her the perfect choice to write me a new meal plan--one that will improve my kidney function and help me cut calories. One that will help me focus on balance in my eating and work me towards my goals. Only this time, 7oz of protein seems like a fairy tale. This new meal plan only allows me 4 oz! Are you kidding me??? I was bowled over!
But.....
I needed it. I know that I feel horrible. I can't climb up a flight of stairs without feeling out of breath, and I know that I have the tools and the abilities to accomplish my goals. All I need to do is do it!
I don't know what changed in me in the last couple of weeks. Maybe it was motivated by my best friend signing me up to do a 5k (yikes!) that made me want to start this journey again. Maybe it is the fact that spring is here, and I don't want to have to buy new clothes because none of my summer stuff fits me anymore. Maybe I want grandpa in heaven to look down on me and be proud of me. Or maybe...just maybe...I want to do this because I know I will feel better, have more energy and be healthier. It might even be the combination of all of the above. I have no idea.
All I know is that I am ready. I am ready to be back on the journey. And what is great to me, what has always amazed me is the love and support that surrounds me. In the good times and bad. This year has been amazing in the relationships area. I have grown closer to some people than I ever thought possible. And those people support me in whatever I do. And I thank God every day that he put them in my life.
So are you ready to be back on the journey with me? I need your prayers, I need your encouragement, I need an iPhone food slapper app (Boom! Pow!) and your low protein recipes!
Be sick, be loved
T
P.S. Mark this day down in history. I, Tracie, for the first time in my life, am going to cook some sort of seafood other than tuna! I know! Shocker!
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